I struggle with the pronouns ‘they/them’ but let’s get things straight, I do not hate or discriminate against people who use these pronouns or the queer community at large. Quite contrary so please approach this with an open mind.
Genuine relationships are hard to come by, so you do you. You may not feel comfortable in your own skin or fit a certain mould, and to each their own. I’ll say goodbye to your old name and call you by your new one. I’ll even make sure others respect your wishes and help you feel comfortable.
What I struggle with is referring to a single person as ‘they/them’. My challenge might stem from trying to be grammatically correct. In that sense, I recognise ‘they’ as a third person pronoun that pairs with the verb ‘are,’ and that’s where difficulty lies. ‘Are’ just oozes plurality making it difficult to say something like ‘they are eating’ to describe someone’s actions. Additionally, it can be hard to comprehend, especially if the person you’re speaking to isn’t aware you are referring to a single individual.
Should communication be challenging? Definitely not. That’s why, in most cases, I don’t mind if someone mispronounces something or has a typo as long as the message gets across. Regarding pronouns, I think this is one of those situations where everything is evolving right in front of us. All I can do is be open-minded, adapt and treat everyone like I’d want to be treated.
You might ask yourself, how does this affect me given my location? I barely get to refer to someone using ‘they’ due to the rarity of finding non-binary individuals. Despite that, in random discussions, I end up talking about some non-binary people, such as Sam Smith due to my love for music. Another situation is social media. I form connections with various people and I respect them. I actually refer to them using their preferred pronouns, though sometimes I might forget or slip and use a binary pronoun. That’s probably down to English and years of language habit.
I’m curious about your feedback and would genuinely like to get your take on this. There’s a reply-by-email link at the bottom (please keep responses respectful). Share materials with me, your experience, and let’s have a genuine chat.
Cheers!
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